Friday, October 31, 2008

Can someone please return my man?

I love my husband dearly... I really do. But marraige has changed him. Not necessarily for the good or bad but just different. I guess it's a mixture of both and it zeros out. Well anyway, all of the sudden he has opinions about me and my son (oops. our son) and what we should do and shouldn't do. Before marraige. He was like having a husband who worked overseas and ond only occasionally came home. Only overseas was the couch and working was napping. Me and my son did things and went wherever we wanted. By ourselves. Maybe it isn't how families should be but it was what we were used to.

Well it all started maybe 2 days after we got married I said I needed to go to the grocery store. And homeboy grabs his keys and says "Let's go before it gets too late" UH? HUH? OK whatever... Well we go and it was awful. I always thought I would like it when I saw other couples in the store. But no. It's better done alone ladies. And it was so rare that I actually felt uncomfortable. Like that first date, this is weird feeling. Or like that uncomfortable feeling you get when you go out with someone from work for the first time and it's strange to be around them without cubicles and staplers and stuff and it just doesn't feel right.

Now Halloween. Homeboy doesn't want us going trick-or-treating. Because there have been too many drive-bys. Well ok valid. But if he wasn't "overseas" for the first 8 years of our relationship he'd know we only trick or treat on the block I grew up on. In the suburbs. Towns away. But he was busy overseas these past few years so he is unfamiliar with our routine.

So I'm like fine. Good I could use a night away. So I tell him I'm going out tonight and he's on father duty for the night. He says fine. I say I'm going to the lodge and he says to me, "Friday nights are the nights people from my job go. Do you really think it is appropriate for a married woman to be hanging out at a bar with a bunch of bus drivers?" with this Father Knows Best look on his face...

By the time I finished with that one he was all "No... No.... you desever it Sweetie... Have a good time"

So I am! Happy Halloween!

P.S. A lot of married guys I talked to said they went through the same thing when they got married. All the sudden they thought it was their job to be the boss. Apparently I just need to keep bringing him back to reality and it will fade.

Monday, October 27, 2008

The straw that broke Diana's back

So I'm trying to keep my head above water right now. Not financialy but just with life. My husband was hurt at work and found not physically able to do his job anymore. This was over a year ago. He had 2 options, take whatever job they offered or get fired. He did what was right and took whatever was offered. He has 8 years there and it would be stupid to lose his pension with just 2 years remaining. But the job they gave him paid $20K less a year and was a split shift. So he worked 4am to 8am and then had 4 hrs off and then had to go back at 12pm to 4:30pm. It was really rough on him. He bidded for a new postion and got it. It pays more the hours still suck but they are not split. But the hours are better FOR HIM. Now he is working 4pm to 12 am with Thurs and Fri off. Still sucks but at least it's not split anymore. So basically we are never home at the same time and I'm always doing everything myself.

Then on top of that, somebody must have knocked him in the head with something on the way out of the church when we got married because for some reason he thinks he has a housewife and not a working wife. Homeboy all the sudden expects Denny's style breakfasts on saturdays and sundays. He also thinks that the counter is where you put your plate after eating. Someone also told him his job is to delegate jobs to his staff which he assumes must be me. Now I have no problem being a housewife if he wants to be the sole provider. Until then throw out your own plate and make your own damned sandwich.

Last night the camels back broke. An organization I'm a part of (the Fairest Among Thousands, Alltogether Lovely) was throwing a halloween party for the kids yesterday. I woke up at 6:30 to get what I could get done before they (hubby and son) woke up. He asked what I was doing and I told him. I told him I needed to be at the lodge 9am. He tells me at 8:00 that he is hungry and would like me to make breakfast but I will need to go to the supermarket to get eggs, bacon and grits because he used them up making his breakfast during the week. I told him I needed to go but I'd get him breakfast from mcdonalds. He tells me he is no longer eating outside food and fine he just won't eat. (this is where n0days would insert a video of someone looking at him like he was crazy). I just said fine don't eat. Then he sends my son to me talking about "Daddy said you were gonna make us breakfast." Long story short I bought my son mcdonalds then had to drag him around with me to set up for the party. At 9pm when I finally got a chance to sit down I call hubby (he's at work) and he tells me he has some things to say to me when he gets home.

Fast forward to 12:30. Me collapsed on couch after coming home cleaning cooking and then cleaning some more and dealing with an overtired 3yo. He comes in I askwhat did he need to say?

********************************Drumroll please*************************************

"Do you think you are fulfilling your responsibilities in this household?"

SIGH. I went off.

All things are back to normal now and the side effects of his head injury seem to be gone.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

A short one....

Why when I asked my 3 yo how he was feeling this morning his answer was "Like Crap."

I gotta watch what I say...

Never EVER do that again

So about a week ago my husband says to me "I set Stacey up with this dude from my job". Stacey's my best friend. This is the friend who I let him give a ride home to and was skeptical about the whole thing. Well i ask how'd that happen? He says "I thought he was a good guy so I called her and hooked them up" (YUP SEE WHAT I MEAN? Numbers stayed in phones). Anyway... so he's talking this guy up "he's such a nice guy..." "He's closing on a house..."

So I call Stacey and she doesn't sound too excited. Now Stacey isn't one for dating outside of Black men so when I found out he was white I figured she wouldn't even talk to the guy but she decided to give him a try but she was really wary of it. After she talked to him the first time she says she's thinking about changing her mind on the whole inter-racial dating thing. She says this just may be a good hook up. Then she talked to him a few more times and things began to take a turn. She said he told her he told his grandmother about her. She asked what he said and he says that he told her he really liked her - she was African American - lived in Newark - and has 3 kids. I cracked up b/c I got the point she was making when she told me this. I actually laughed for a few minutes. Then she had said something to him about well you left out one of the most important things and he goes "No I told them you were Black". She was like "No I was talking about how pretty I am..." She said That he was really corny and made corny jokes. She told him "Maybe we should do a group thing like I bring someone, you bring some one.... (meaning my husband and me) and he asked who she had in mind. Before she could answer he says "Liberache? I always wanted to have dinner with Liberache!" Ummmm... WTF?!?!?!? And his picture he sent wasn't that cute but she is to that point now that she's willing to date people she doesn't find attractive. So she still makes a date with him!!!

Now Stacey works in the HOOD. So homeboy says's he didn't want to go all the way to her job cause it's too rough where she works so he's gonna pick her up and meet her at some corner. She was like "Oh Hell no. What do I look like getting in a white man's car on the corner in the hood?" I'm like "true... true..." So he picks her up at her job. Meanwhile all the guys on the block are looking like "WTF?!?" Cause that's the type of guy she usually goes for so I'm sure they all tried to get at her already. She gets in, they go for pizza. She was not only not attracted but found him to be unattractive. Then he did things like pick his nose at the table, then pick the mushrooms off of his pizza with his booger hands and put them on her plate, stand up and pull a wedgie out dead in her face, and HUGE burps. Then he says to her "What if I'm not the real "Evan"? What if the real "Evan" is sitting outside watching you?" WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT TO A WOMAN?!?!?! ON A FIRST DATE?!?!? A BLIND ONE AT THAT?!?!?!?

The whole time she sent me text saying "NO, No No No No No I am going to Kill your husband" and "What did I ever do to him? He must not like me."

I cracked up. So when hubby gets home I'm like "What were you thinking?" He goes "Yo he REALLY likes her. Like REALLY " He kept saying "He's a nice guy" I'm like Honey, it takes more than being a nice guy. You just can't go hooking folks up with people cause they are nice. Now he's gonna get his feelings hurt. And then he's all "Girls dump him all the time, it's no big deal." SWEETIE WASN'T THAT A SIGN? I tried to explain to him that if I bought him a pair of pink crocs in his size that doesn't make it ok b/c they are your size. They are still a pink pair of crocs! Just because he's a nice guy it doesn't make up for all the other things that were so wrong about him, escpecially for wrong for Stacey."

He is never to try and hook my friends up again. Ever.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

This is for my Homie!

OK so I changed my name this morning. And I'm surprised to feel so sad about it. I always said I'd hyphenate but that makes my last name 20 characters long. So I said I'd take his last name. He kept saying he didn't care either way but he'd say it with one of those sad puppy dog looks on his face.

Then he keep asking me "Your not gonna do it huh?". And while I had all intentions of doing it I hate taking time from work so I was slow rollin. Well I did today. When the lady told me to sign on the x I was like "Ummmm.... uhhhhh... sign my uh...." she was like "Yes your new name" It didn't feel natural and I felt sad... Now I gotta go to HR and it all feels like the end of something wonderful. Like when you graduate high school... or college... and you know what's ahead is supposed to be wonderful but you all the sudden miss your old lunch table and your locker and all...

And my new last name is difficult for people and they mess it up constantly until I have to say "Like Chuck!" and then they say "Oh...." GEESH. Around here you hear the name at least twice a day! What is so friggin hard PEOPLE!?!?!?! I wonder if my NJ/NY people can guess my new name from the clues?

Goodbye Megan McMurray... It's been a good 31 years. I'll never forget all the fun we had...

Why is Gangsta Lean playing in my head

This is for my homies... in that gangsta lean...

I tip my 40 to your memories....

SIGH....

Friday, October 10, 2008

A quickie

I finally got my computer back! YAY! Anways... So yesterday I was on the phone with my husband. He works for NJ transit and assigns buses to the drivers. So we always talk around 12:30 1:00pm. Sometimes I have to wait while he assigns a bus. So the bus driver chick had an attitude with him. He makes some comment about her attitude and then tells me he's getting busy and will talk to me later. Few minutes later he calls me back. Attitude chick (who happened to be brand new to the job) drives out of the garage, down the street and hits a lady and severed both the lady’s legs and an arm. The lady didn't make it and the driver is being charged with vehicular man slaughter. This has been haunting me since. I've prayed and prayed for both the driver and the family of the woman who lost her life. So Sad. The driver is 23 years old. What a thing to deal with for the rest of your life. My husband used to be a mechanic there and he said when he worked on buses he always kept in mind how many lives he had in his hands. Not just the people on the bus but the people on the streets. Having a 6000 lb bus with failed breaks could kill a lot of people. Sorry such a sad post.

Monday, October 06, 2008

Like a bunch of sardines

So I got a virus on my work computer and haven't had it for about a week. It is hard to work a desk job without a computer.

Anyway... so a while back I had mentioned that my father wanted to throw us a reception and hubby told me he just wanted the cash. I thought it would be rude to say that so I accepted the reception offer. Well my father decided we needed the cash more. LOL homeboy said "How bout I just help you guys with your security and first months rent." Which was not only a y'all are broke but a y'all are broke plus you need to get the hell out of my apartment. See my dad mom and I bought an apartment together before they got divorced. It's a 1 bedroom. Yeah my cheap ass got my family up in a 1 bedroom apartment. LOL. We really do need to move. My husband goes to court in December for custody of his 16yo daughter. So I knew I'd have to get out by the time he goes. How would that look?!?!?!?!? Fighting for her to come live in our 1 bedroom! All 4 of us up in a queen size?

Here's the reason why my dad wanted to throw us a reception/help us with the move... guilt. he said he felt guilty because when he told a friend of his I got married his friend said he had just put out like $80k for his daughter's wedding. So he felt guilty. But shoot... not guilty enough. Now he's gonna throw me like $5k but that leaves like $75k more guilt to be seen... lol. But really I'm am so happy for this help. I had no idea how we were gonna do it before he offered his help.