Smart Boy

So I talked to the little guy about the Brianna situation. I swear he acted like a teenager. This was the convo

Me: So.... tell me about Brianna. What's going on with that?
(Blushes and then shruggs like a teenager)
Me: You know you can talk to me. Wht happened with that?
R: I don't know... nuthin
Me: Is that your friend
R: Nope
Me: You can be her friend if you want.
R: I don't want to be her friend.
Me: Was she your girlfriend?
R: Noooooo. She's not my girlfriend. She's not my friend. And I don't want her to be my friend.

I'm glad homie saw the drama and dropped chick like a hot potato
That's my boy!

My lil' Don juan

Do you remember the first time you ever had a crush? A true I want that to be my boyfriend/girlfriend crush? I think I might have been 5 or 6. Chad Thomas. We used to hold hands at the family cookouts and look at the city lights. It was so romantic. No kissing or any fresh talk. Just hand holding and talking.

My son has started already. My OES sister has a daughter, Mia who he was smitten with from day one. Well the other night he asked me what a friend of mine's last name was and I said "Brown". So he then repeats Brown several times and says "Mia's my brown sugar." (I think he got that from Max & Ruby - Brown sugar apples sauce put it in the oven....) I laughed. But homeboy has actually begun to call her Brown Sugar like it's her name. So Mia's mom called me and I told her we were going to the movies. She asked if her and Mia could come. We went to Friday's first to get a bit. While we were there me and my Sis were talking and I realize these 2 preschoolers have turned this into a romantic dinner. The waiter came and tell me why homie tried to order for her. Talkin about "You gonna get the green juice Brown Sugar". I'm listening in on their conversations and hear "Your my best boyfriend" and "I love you Brown Sugar". So after the movie we get in our cars I drive of and homeboy is QUIET. He is never quiet. I ask what's wrong and he said I wasn't ready to leave Mia. I want to go see the alien movie with her. And I remembered that feeling in my TEENAGE years of not wanting to part after seeing my crush and I'm like homie is 4 going through this. Insane!

So I drop him off this morning and I hear his teacher say to a little girl "Stop hiding behind your mother. That boy's not even thinking about you" So I'm like "What's going on? Is he mean to her?" And the teacher and the mother give each other looks and the teacher says "We had to seperate them. They were very close but then she started get possesive and fighting the other girls in class over him." I'm dumbfounded. First of all b/c they had to "seperate" my child from another child and didn't speak to me about it. Second of all cause my 3 year old has girls fighting over him. Then the girls mother says "Yeah she talked about him constantly at home and always uses his name for the letter R when we do the alphabet." And she's like did he talk about her a lot?" I was like "Ummmmm what's her name? Must be Imani?" Nope. Brianna. Had no idea about Brianna.

He really needs to take it down cause I'm not trying to be nobody's grandma in my 40's. My best friend is 32 and just became a grandma. NO SIR! Not me.

Here's my little guy when he got into the baby powder

Positively Back!

I haven't written in a while b/c I felt like I was being SO NEGATIVE. So I waited until I had some nice things to say.



OK so I wanted to tell you all how in love I am. It's so weird when you get to the point in a relationship that every now and then you fall head over heals for the person. Like you always LOVE them, sometimes you may not necessarly LIKE them. Sometimes you do. But then sometimes you re-fall-in-love. And it may last 1 week or 3 months or however long... but you feel like you did in the beginning. Butterflies and all. I love it when that happens. So I'm in deep deep love again and can't wait until he gets home tonight. One way I can tell when I'm in re-love is my cooking. When Dinner is bangin' and plates are being damn near licked clean, I'm in love. I swear. When I'm in like it's edible, When I'm not liking him so much it's either disgusing or nothing at all. But when I'm in love... WATCHOUT! So needless to say I can't wait for dinner. I cooked a chicken stroganoff in the crock pot and it's perfect for cold nights like tonight. Last night I cooked for him 3 times. His Sunday dinner by 3pm then Late Evening snack and late night snack. Oh I love that man.

Oh and my son said the sweetest thing. The other night I was in deep thought about life so I asked him "Are you happy? Like truly truly happy" And he smiled and said "Yes" and I said "Why are you happy?" And he said "Cause you're loving me." And I really expected to get an answer about toys. I mean he's 3 years old (well 4 next week). But he gave me a hint that what I try to do is working. I just try to make sure he knows he is loved. If a person feels loved I think they can do anything. They have a confidence about them that is unstoppable. I mean many things positive and negative fuel a person's desire to succeed, but I want to give him all the positive fuel that I can. And it's working. He gets it. So I feel good about my mission as a mother and my progress thus far.

So that's the little update on my life...

When to say when

I know sometimes you have to let a man be a man. But when is it appropriate to step in and say... ask the gas attendant for directions or call an electrician or in my case a plumber?



Our bathroom sink is always stopped up. Homie is constantly pouring stuff down there - draino, heavy duty drain cleaner, bleach.... So Anyway it's always getting clogged. Then a couple of months ago the pipe from the sink to the wall started dripping and the faucet started dripping too. Hubby said he'd fix it. Now.... The sink appears to be clogged and unable to be unclogged. In his first phase of repair he did something to make a big hole in the pipe under the sink and put a big bucket there. It would take about 6 hours to fill up and then he'd take a tupperware bowl and bail some of that water out into the toilet until the bucket could be tilted and slid from under the pipe and emptied into the toilet. Several Home Depot trips later, the hole appears to be closed but now the sink isn't even draining slow. It's not draining at all. So then he put a tupperware bowl in the sink to catch the water that drips from the faucet and then that water can be poured from the bowl into the toilet. Matter of fact I need to go check it because it fills fast and then overflows onto the floor after a few hours (mind you this is all over the course of say 4 days. )



So this morning I go to put a little water on my toothbrush and GUSH water comes gushing out. I'm like what the hell happened to the faucet. He mumbles something about a wrong part.



***hold on - I'll be right back - I really should check that tupperware bowl***



Ok sometime between the time I left for work and now it switch from tupperware back to bucket. And from bucket to overflowing bucket. The entire bathroom is soaked.



I'm calling a plumber now. But first I'm calling my sweetie to let him down gently.



Hold on. I'll be right back I'm gonna call him.



Ok I said "Sweetie, I'm calling a plumber. I can't take this anymore." and he said "Neither can I. Call him."


LOL!

This or That?

Which seems like an easier schedule



Wake at 6:30

Dress yourself and your child.

Drop Child off by 7:45

Get to work at 8:00

No lunch hour so you can leave at 5pm

pick up child by 5:30

6:00 - 6:30 begin dinner

7:30 to 8pm eat dinner

8pm - 8:30 read books

8:30 - 9/9:30 get child to sleep

9:30 - 10:30 clean kitchen and living/dining rooms

10:30 - 11:00 watch some TV

11:00 - 11:30 get clothes ready for next day

11:30 - 12:00 take shower and go to bed





OR would you rather



6:30 am - 3:00 pm watch tv or run errands

3:00 - 3:30 leave for work

4pm - 12 At work

12pm - watch tv, eat go to sleep

YES WE CAN

I don't know what to say. I'm overjoyed. I need to let this sit and stew and collect. Until then read this. n0days said it all.

It's not a dream anymore....

I wish I was

OK so I'm so excited about my playlist that I have removed it from the last post and made a WHOLE NEW POST!

So I guess this is a chance to tell you some more about me. In my head I long to be a teenager again. I want middle school and high school back. I want my closet door with the built in full length mirror. And my Pepto Bismal pink rug. And my walls with Kswiss and Onyx stickers. And Tupack posters from Word-Up magazine. And my phone with the cord and the big buttons, and my stiff stuff hairspray and dark maroon lipstick. And Rugby shirts (had to have the rubber buttons to be authentic) and some Reebok Classics. I want to hang out outside the dinner afterschool and go to Essex Catholic parties on the weekends. I want to talk on the phone with boys until I fall asleep while I'm talking and say some ol crazy shit and then we both do the 'hang-up, no you hang-up' thing. I want to sit at MY lunch table. And go to the football games on the weekends. And hang out at the pool all day everyday in the summer. I want to walk miles and miles a day even though my parents would have driven me to see how many older boys with cars I can meet. I WANT MY LIFE BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Ok sorry.... I got a little lost.

On another note I began a good playlist on my ipod today. Right now I'm trying to make it bring me from like 6th grade (1988/89.... DAYUM When I typed that I thought "naw that's too far back. I couldn't have been in 6th grade in 88" uhhhh yeah I was) through like Junior year HS (1993/94). Then once I build that up I will split it into middle school and highschool.


You Called and Told Me - Jeff Redd
Spread My Wings - Troop
I like the Way - Hi-five
All I Do Is Think Of You - Troop
Top Billin - Audio Two
Rock Dis Funky Joint - Poor Righteous Teachers
I'm Looking at the Front Door - Main Source
Not Gonna Be Able to Do It - Double XX Posse
Dark Skin Girls - Del Tha Funky Homosapian
Straighten It Out - Pete Rock & CL Smooth
Punks Jump Up to Get Beat Down - Brand Nubian
Proceed - The Roots
Rebirth of Slick - Digable Planets
Candy Rain - Soul For Real
SWV - So Into You

Please note the order will have to be tweaked as more songs are added and I'll probably do that by year and then Song.Please suggest some more for me. Prefereably rap. Something that would have been on video music box with Ralph McDaniels and Crazy Sam. I GOT TO GIVE SHOUT OUTS ONCE WHEN I WAS AT SKATE22!!!!!!!(Do I seem excited? I think I am)

I Know I'm proud...

I'm overwhelmed today. I'm the type of person to stick anything emotional good or bad way deep down inside. But I still feel anxiousness. Does that make sense? I know that I have emotions about SOMETHING and what those exact emotions are I don't always know. But I feel an anxiousness that lets me know I am feeling something. I know it may seem strange to people but that is just the way I cope. I have no idea what life would be like if I allowed myself to feel or recognize whatever I'm feeling.

So today I am having that anxiousness. I know it is surrounding the elections. I know that it keeps bringing tears and tightness in my chest. I think I am excited and proud. I'm thinking about my father a lot and how he is feeling. This morning he told me that this is the first time he's ever felt like an American. Now my father is the President and CEO of a HUGE nationwide insurance company. You'd think someone who has been able to climb his way to a position like that would be feel some sense of acceptance. But he doesn't. He said he still feels like that little boy who went to a segregated school and drank out of colored water fountains (this is what he told me at 6am this morning). And I'm feeling some kind of way about that.

Then the man behind me at the polls was a 93 year old black man. And he told me he has never missed an election. He said he voted for FDR. And to have him standing next to me as he inched forward in line refusing to take a break to sit down, even though I told him I'd save his space. Well it made me feel some kind of way too.

And being the only person of color at my job kind of leaves it hard to talk about the significance of today. Not that I CAN'T say "I’m so excited to have a Black president." But anytime I bring it up what this means to ME, they kind of get uncomfortable and breeze past it. Now all of the people I am working with today (I work out of a few offices) are voting for Barack but they still don't feel comfortable talking about it on a racial level. So I guess I just need to be able express my excitement and pride and I don't have an outlet at the moment.

So I think I am SO EXCITED. And I think I am extremely NERVOUS. But I'm pretty sure I'm very PROUD.

Can someone please return my man?

I love my husband dearly... I really do. But marraige has changed him. Not necessarily for the good or bad but just different. I guess it's a mixture of both and it zeros out. Well anyway, all of the sudden he has opinions about me and my son (oops. our son) and what we should do and shouldn't do. Before marraige. He was like having a husband who worked overseas and ond only occasionally came home. Only overseas was the couch and working was napping. Me and my son did things and went wherever we wanted. By ourselves. Maybe it isn't how families should be but it was what we were used to.

Well it all started maybe 2 days after we got married I said I needed to go to the grocery store. And homeboy grabs his keys and says "Let's go before it gets too late" UH? HUH? OK whatever... Well we go and it was awful. I always thought I would like it when I saw other couples in the store. But no. It's better done alone ladies. And it was so rare that I actually felt uncomfortable. Like that first date, this is weird feeling. Or like that uncomfortable feeling you get when you go out with someone from work for the first time and it's strange to be around them without cubicles and staplers and stuff and it just doesn't feel right.

Now Halloween. Homeboy doesn't want us going trick-or-treating. Because there have been too many drive-bys. Well ok valid. But if he wasn't "overseas" for the first 8 years of our relationship he'd know we only trick or treat on the block I grew up on. In the suburbs. Towns away. But he was busy overseas these past few years so he is unfamiliar with our routine.

So I'm like fine. Good I could use a night away. So I tell him I'm going out tonight and he's on father duty for the night. He says fine. I say I'm going to the lodge and he says to me, "Friday nights are the nights people from my job go. Do you really think it is appropriate for a married woman to be hanging out at a bar with a bunch of bus drivers?" with this Father Knows Best look on his face...

By the time I finished with that one he was all "No... No.... you desever it Sweetie... Have a good time"

So I am! Happy Halloween!

P.S. A lot of married guys I talked to said they went through the same thing when they got married. All the sudden they thought it was their job to be the boss. Apparently I just need to keep bringing him back to reality and it will fade.

The straw that broke Diana's back

So I'm trying to keep my head above water right now. Not financialy but just with life. My husband was hurt at work and found not physically able to do his job anymore. This was over a year ago. He had 2 options, take whatever job they offered or get fired. He did what was right and took whatever was offered. He has 8 years there and it would be stupid to lose his pension with just 2 years remaining. But the job they gave him paid $20K less a year and was a split shift. So he worked 4am to 8am and then had 4 hrs off and then had to go back at 12pm to 4:30pm. It was really rough on him. He bidded for a new postion and got it. It pays more the hours still suck but they are not split. But the hours are better FOR HIM. Now he is working 4pm to 12 am with Thurs and Fri off. Still sucks but at least it's not split anymore. So basically we are never home at the same time and I'm always doing everything myself.

Then on top of that, somebody must have knocked him in the head with something on the way out of the church when we got married because for some reason he thinks he has a housewife and not a working wife. Homeboy all the sudden expects Denny's style breakfasts on saturdays and sundays. He also thinks that the counter is where you put your plate after eating. Someone also told him his job is to delegate jobs to his staff which he assumes must be me. Now I have no problem being a housewife if he wants to be the sole provider. Until then throw out your own plate and make your own damned sandwich.

Last night the camels back broke. An organization I'm a part of (the Fairest Among Thousands, Alltogether Lovely) was throwing a halloween party for the kids yesterday. I woke up at 6:30 to get what I could get done before they (hubby and son) woke up. He asked what I was doing and I told him. I told him I needed to be at the lodge 9am. He tells me at 8:00 that he is hungry and would like me to make breakfast but I will need to go to the supermarket to get eggs, bacon and grits because he used them up making his breakfast during the week. I told him I needed to go but I'd get him breakfast from mcdonalds. He tells me he is no longer eating outside food and fine he just won't eat. (this is where n0days would insert a video of someone looking at him like he was crazy). I just said fine don't eat. Then he sends my son to me talking about "Daddy said you were gonna make us breakfast." Long story short I bought my son mcdonalds then had to drag him around with me to set up for the party. At 9pm when I finally got a chance to sit down I call hubby (he's at work) and he tells me he has some things to say to me when he gets home.

Fast forward to 12:30. Me collapsed on couch after coming home cleaning cooking and then cleaning some more and dealing with an overtired 3yo. He comes in I askwhat did he need to say?

********************************Drumroll please*************************************

"Do you think you are fulfilling your responsibilities in this household?"

SIGH. I went off.

All things are back to normal now and the side effects of his head injury seem to be gone.

A short one....

Why when I asked my 3 yo how he was feeling this morning his answer was "Like Crap."

I gotta watch what I say...

Never EVER do that again

So about a week ago my husband says to me "I set Stacey up with this dude from my job". Stacey's my best friend. This is the friend who I let him give a ride home to and was skeptical about the whole thing. Well i ask how'd that happen? He says "I thought he was a good guy so I called her and hooked them up" (YUP SEE WHAT I MEAN? Numbers stayed in phones). Anyway... so he's talking this guy up "he's such a nice guy..." "He's closing on a house..."

So I call Stacey and she doesn't sound too excited. Now Stacey isn't one for dating outside of Black men so when I found out he was white I figured she wouldn't even talk to the guy but she decided to give him a try but she was really wary of it. After she talked to him the first time she says she's thinking about changing her mind on the whole inter-racial dating thing. She says this just may be a good hook up. Then she talked to him a few more times and things began to take a turn. She said he told her he told his grandmother about her. She asked what he said and he says that he told her he really liked her - she was African American - lived in Newark - and has 3 kids. I cracked up b/c I got the point she was making when she told me this. I actually laughed for a few minutes. Then she had said something to him about well you left out one of the most important things and he goes "No I told them you were Black". She was like "No I was talking about how pretty I am..." She said That he was really corny and made corny jokes. She told him "Maybe we should do a group thing like I bring someone, you bring some one.... (meaning my husband and me) and he asked who she had in mind. Before she could answer he says "Liberache? I always wanted to have dinner with Liberache!" Ummmm... WTF?!?!?!? And his picture he sent wasn't that cute but she is to that point now that she's willing to date people she doesn't find attractive. So she still makes a date with him!!!

Now Stacey works in the HOOD. So homeboy says's he didn't want to go all the way to her job cause it's too rough where she works so he's gonna pick her up and meet her at some corner. She was like "Oh Hell no. What do I look like getting in a white man's car on the corner in the hood?" I'm like "true... true..." So he picks her up at her job. Meanwhile all the guys on the block are looking like "WTF?!?" Cause that's the type of guy she usually goes for so I'm sure they all tried to get at her already. She gets in, they go for pizza. She was not only not attracted but found him to be unattractive. Then he did things like pick his nose at the table, then pick the mushrooms off of his pizza with his booger hands and put them on her plate, stand up and pull a wedgie out dead in her face, and HUGE burps. Then he says to her "What if I'm not the real "Evan"? What if the real "Evan" is sitting outside watching you?" WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT TO A WOMAN?!?!?! ON A FIRST DATE?!?!? A BLIND ONE AT THAT?!?!?!?

The whole time she sent me text saying "NO, No No No No No I am going to Kill your husband" and "What did I ever do to him? He must not like me."

I cracked up. So when hubby gets home I'm like "What were you thinking?" He goes "Yo he REALLY likes her. Like REALLY " He kept saying "He's a nice guy" I'm like Honey, it takes more than being a nice guy. You just can't go hooking folks up with people cause they are nice. Now he's gonna get his feelings hurt. And then he's all "Girls dump him all the time, it's no big deal." SWEETIE WASN'T THAT A SIGN? I tried to explain to him that if I bought him a pair of pink crocs in his size that doesn't make it ok b/c they are your size. They are still a pink pair of crocs! Just because he's a nice guy it doesn't make up for all the other things that were so wrong about him, escpecially for wrong for Stacey."

He is never to try and hook my friends up again. Ever.

This is for my Homie!

OK so I changed my name this morning. And I'm surprised to feel so sad about it. I always said I'd hyphenate but that makes my last name 20 characters long. So I said I'd take his last name. He kept saying he didn't care either way but he'd say it with one of those sad puppy dog looks on his face.

Then he keep asking me "Your not gonna do it huh?". And while I had all intentions of doing it I hate taking time from work so I was slow rollin. Well I did today. When the lady told me to sign on the x I was like "Ummmm.... uhhhhh... sign my uh...." she was like "Yes your new name" It didn't feel natural and I felt sad... Now I gotta go to HR and it all feels like the end of something wonderful. Like when you graduate high school... or college... and you know what's ahead is supposed to be wonderful but you all the sudden miss your old lunch table and your locker and all...

And my new last name is difficult for people and they mess it up constantly until I have to say "Like Chuck!" and then they say "Oh...." GEESH. Around here you hear the name at least twice a day! What is so friggin hard PEOPLE!?!?!?! I wonder if my NJ/NY people can guess my new name from the clues?

Goodbye Megan McMurray... It's been a good 31 years. I'll never forget all the fun we had...

Why is Gangsta Lean playing in my head

This is for my homies... in that gangsta lean...

I tip my 40 to your memories....

SIGH....

A quickie

I finally got my computer back! YAY! Anways... So yesterday I was on the phone with my husband. He works for NJ transit and assigns buses to the drivers. So we always talk around 12:30 1:00pm. Sometimes I have to wait while he assigns a bus. So the bus driver chick had an attitude with him. He makes some comment about her attitude and then tells me he's getting busy and will talk to me later. Few minutes later he calls me back. Attitude chick (who happened to be brand new to the job) drives out of the garage, down the street and hits a lady and severed both the lady’s legs and an arm. The lady didn't make it and the driver is being charged with vehicular man slaughter. This has been haunting me since. I've prayed and prayed for both the driver and the family of the woman who lost her life. So Sad. The driver is 23 years old. What a thing to deal with for the rest of your life. My husband used to be a mechanic there and he said when he worked on buses he always kept in mind how many lives he had in his hands. Not just the people on the bus but the people on the streets. Having a 6000 lb bus with failed breaks could kill a lot of people. Sorry such a sad post.

Like a bunch of sardines

So I got a virus on my work computer and haven't had it for about a week. It is hard to work a desk job without a computer.

Anyway... so a while back I had mentioned that my father wanted to throw us a reception and hubby told me he just wanted the cash. I thought it would be rude to say that so I accepted the reception offer. Well my father decided we needed the cash more. LOL homeboy said "How bout I just help you guys with your security and first months rent." Which was not only a y'all are broke but a y'all are broke plus you need to get the hell out of my apartment. See my dad mom and I bought an apartment together before they got divorced. It's a 1 bedroom. Yeah my cheap ass got my family up in a 1 bedroom apartment. LOL. We really do need to move. My husband goes to court in December for custody of his 16yo daughter. So I knew I'd have to get out by the time he goes. How would that look?!?!?!?!? Fighting for her to come live in our 1 bedroom! All 4 of us up in a queen size?

Here's the reason why my dad wanted to throw us a reception/help us with the move... guilt. he said he felt guilty because when he told a friend of his I got married his friend said he had just put out like $80k for his daughter's wedding. So he felt guilty. But shoot... not guilty enough. Now he's gonna throw me like $5k but that leaves like $75k more guilt to be seen... lol. But really I'm am so happy for this help. I had no idea how we were gonna do it before he offered his help.

I'm very flattered but I'm married

Needed a new look....

So ever since we've gotten married, women are all over my husband. I swear it is the craziest thing. He gets this huge kick out of it and tells me about each time some woman approaches him. I never knew that this supposedly happens once a man has a ring on their finger but men and women are confirming this to be the truth. I don't know what it is. I'm figuring the fact that a man is committed or appears to be is a turn on? Is that it?

But as I walked out of the mall today some dude says "How you doing?" And I kept my head straight didn't break stride and said "Fine thank you and you?" And kept it moving. No need for conversation. And this has been how it has always been. It doesn't even get to the point where I have to say I'm married or whatever... Now him on the other hand tells me off all the things he does to make the chicks see the ring and how he will play with the ring, or rub his face with his left hand, or whatever... So here is what I have a problem with. Why are you even entertaining conversations with these chicks to the point where they have to notice it. My face says enough that men don't even continue with it... He's all "There's nothing wrong with conversation" or "networking..." Now I'm am not a jealous person at all so I really don't care but I did realize the difference today when I didn't have to flash my ring or say I'm married because I don’t even let it get to that point.

Get on the good foot... Or praise the Lord...

Ok real quick. Jr had a tantrum last night in the hallway of my apt building and it looked like a cross between James Brown and someone getting the holy ghost.

I couldn't help it. I cracked up laughing. When he realized I was laughing at him he got pissed and started doing it again and screaming "Why are you laughing at me" So it was all a hot mess and what made it worse was some one (an old person) came walking down the hallway and I didn't notice so I was embarassed cause I should have been snatching him up but there I am cracking up. I must have looke ig-nor-ant!!!!

Have a good weekend!!!!!

I don't got nuthin to say....

I really don't have anything specific to speak on but I haven't been posting everyday. If I keep up like this I'll never post. So I am just going to list a bunch of things. 10 Things....

1. I have public bathroom rooms rules
- Do not go in a stall right next to someone if there is an open stall somewhere else.
- If it is a 3 stall bathroom and all are empty do not take the middle. Then people are forced to be next to you.
- If it is obvious that someone is doing the doo... hurry up. It's an uncomfortable situation for all involved. Do not fix your hair, re apply gloss, turn around and do the over the shoulder red carpet pose... Wash your hands and leave
- Do not come with me when I say I'm going. Bathroom company that I'm expected to converse with while I pee makes me very nervous.
- Don't talk on your cell phone while you are in there either.

2. I can't stand when people pronounce salmon "sal-mon" It bothers me really really badly. Really. I also hate when people say conversate. It also bothers me.

3. Shaving down below is torturous. It's the worst thing ever. Arrrrggghhhhhh

4. I hate making phone calls for work. That is the part of my job that gets me in trouble. If a boss says "call so and so." I never do it. I don't like calling people at all actually and I don't listen to voicemails. At work, home or cell. I hate voicemail.

5. Children's benedryl will have the reverse affect and make a child hyper if you use it every night. I'm not saying I DO or DID do this I'm just letting you know...

6. I don't like tweenagers or whatever the hell they are called. Middleschoolers... I don't like them. They always have huge backpacks and walk bent over and their feet are always too big for their bodies. They laugh loud in public and generally gross me out. My friends with kids this age don't appreciate my opinion but it is was it is. Don't like em. And I'm not too thrilled with teenagers either. I like kids between the ages of 8 and 10.

7. Pots are not for storage. They are for cooking. Don't just put the lid on it and stick it in the fridge. I hate that. The food is then considered inconsumable IMO.

8. I don't like cake. But every time someone offers me some I say yes b/c it looks so good! And then I taste it throw it in the garbage.

9. I hate to put lotion on my feet. I try and wait until the very last minute which often ends up with forgetting and looking down at my feet at some point mid morning thinking "Damn my feet are ashy!" But I always carry lotion and by that point I'm more ashamed of the ashyness than anything else and the lotion doesn't bother me.

10. I can’t stand Tyra. She always has to make it about herself. Today she was talking about youtube and she says cat videos are very popular and something about 56million cat videos on youtube and then she says "And I'm allergic to cats!" You just couldn't help yourself uh Tyra? You just had to say something about you?

OK there are ten things!

I'm baaaaack......

I've been a bad blogger. For real though I had nothing to talk about. Absolutely nothing. Which in blog world is bad but real life kinda good. Then my Father-In-Law passed away and we had to make the long drive down to Whiteville, NC. We stopped in Raliegh to visit my crazy ass Mother-In-Law. She's a nutcase y'all.

It was my husband and I, Jr and my 2 brother-in-laws. It was a good trip, considering it was for a funeral. We had fun though. It was one of those teeny tiny country towns. I always knew he was from the sticks but DAMN!. Nobody goes by their real names.

Debo - brother in law
Baby Boy - brother in law
Rap - Husband
Baby Duck - Uncle
Fresh - Mother in law
Pappy - Father in law
Nasty - Cousin in Law
MuMu - Cousin in Law
Mug - Uncle in law

I don't have a nickname. They just call me in-law.

I didn;t want to come home though. I could have stayed. I liked it. I could have just sat on the porch eatin boiled peanuts and waving at every car that drove by forever. And I swear news travels fast. We stopped at a gas station at 1am when we arrived and by 9am cars were rolling by the house. We just sat on the porch all day and people came.

So sorry to go missing. I'll try not to do it again!

Thank you Mama!

Ok so this post if for the Mothers. It's tough being a mom. So this post to give each other credit for all of the things we don't get credit for. Like there aren't any Hallmark cards that say...

Thank you so much for smelling the poop when I tried so hard to pretend that I didn't poop in my pants so I could keep playing with my ninja turtles. It was really gross and I was totally uncomfortable. You undressed me and washed me up and it was nasty but you did what you had to do. (wink * wink * you know who you are)

or

Thank you for taking the extra time to look for that damned cart with the car attached. I know it is hard to steer but you did it for me.

or

Thank you for eating McDonalds happy meals for lunch just so I can collect each Kong Fu Panda toys. And thank you for getting out of the car and marching into the McDonalds and looking like a crazy woman asking to see every toy they had to make sure I didn't get a repeat.

or...

My dumb ass...

So I've been thinking about all of the crazy shit that went down it that apartment and all the mess I've gotten myself into trying to be nice and not knowing how to say NO.

So I'm living in my apt by myself and my cousin and his new girl drop by with some drinks. So we're drinking... chilling... home girl is cool. A hoodrat, but cool. So he comes to me like "is it alright if we stay the night?" I'm like cool. We were tipsy. They didn't have a ride. I didn't feel like giving them a ride. So why not. So they stayed the night. And then another night. And another... Then they were straight up living with me. Now I love my cousin. He is the nicest person in the world. But he has a thing for stealing cars (watch that new show on A&E Jacked. It's in my county. You may see one of my cousins on there getting pulled out of a stolen Expedition). But homie was trying to get his life together. So he didn't have a job. She didn't have a job. But the thing is my cousin likes to clean. I don't. I would come home from work. They would greet me smiling. Like that scene in Annie when she first comes to the mansion. I'd walk in and the apt would be sparkling. A hot bowl of Ramen Noodles waiting made just the way I like them, he'd have a cigarette lit for me. How's your day. Rub my shoulders. It was like I had my own cook, maid, massage therapist... But on my little salary it was hard to buy food and cigarettes for three grown ass adults.

Then I started messing with some dude at work and he hit me with "Could I store some boxes here. Just a few things." Yes... Yes... I know... But the other thing hadn't happened yet so I wasn't hip to the game yet. Homie straight moved in. Clothes in my closet. Hung artwork on the walls. So now there are 4 grown ass adults in my one bedroom apt.

So one day about 3 months later (yes they were there for 3 months on some "can we stay the night cause we're drunk" shit) I'm on my way in and my cousin and his girl come running out of the building all out of breathe talking about they are going to the movies do I want to come. I'm like naw that's ok. But he's got a crazy looking screw driver in his hand. They run off and jump into a black Jeep and pull off. Minutes later there's a police car up and down the street. Now he had been driving this car for days. Parking it out front. Said it was his boys car. I fell for it. He had fell off the wagon. That night I told him he had to go. I was sad... No more clean apartment... no more hot ramen noodles or shoulder rubs after work... But he understood.

He's been clean and sober from auto theft for about 5 years now. It's crazy though how my cousins love to steal cars. No lie about 4 times I've gotten calls from people who's cars have been stolen asking me where my damn cousins are and if they have the car. Like I'm the auto theft task force and can get their cars back for them. My cousin from the story has a son now who is the same age as mine. I picked him up on Friday to spend the night. When we pulled into my garage he was in awe of all the cars. As we walk into the building he's like "There go a toyotaaaa, that's a hondaaaaa, BMW..., I'm looking for a truck with some rims on it." 3 years old people... 3 years old... Gotta break the cycle.

The Apple fell far from the tree

So you know I gotta problem with the whole save the world thing. n0days understands... Anyway, my son doesn't. Today was his second day in Pre-K. I dropped him off in the early room this morning and some kid was bawling "Moooommy!!!" Now my son is the type of kid that sees an opportunity to get away from me and basically throws me the deuces. So he's looking at homie like "WTF is wrong wit u man?" So I tell Jr. "He's having a hard time. Be his friend. Help him out. Play with him. Let him sit with you." Then I go to bounce and I turn around and my son looks at the kid, then looks at Dora on TV, back at the kid, back at Dora. Then he gives me a look that totally said "don't get me involved in the BS" and says to me "He don't want me. He want his mommy." And then turns back to Dora.

So back to the dudes on the couch

So I walk in go in my room to review my purchases and hear a man say my name. I start screaming. Like horror flick top of my longs screaming and I hear "Don’t scream don't scream!" I walk into the living room and there are 2 dudes on the couch. One starts saying "You know me you know me." Turns out it is the chick from down the hallway's bf or fb ... (yes the one who got evicted). So he starts this long explanation of how the bloods chased him into the stairway and he shot at them and now the cops are after him. Yeah my building was full of bloods. I told y’all it was hood. So the cops were looking for him and he ran to the apartment of this dude down the hallway. I had just come back from vacation and the dude down the hallway had been feeding my cat and still had the key and let these MFers hide in my apartment. (Mind you I was still pretty green from growing up in Maybury and thought nothing of giving the dread down the hallway my key).

So I didn't want anybody putting my name in this shit and getting caught up in this so I said “Well chill here until things die down and then get out.” So what do you talk about to 2 dudes you don’t know hiding from the bloods and the cops? You tell them email jokes. So we sat there until like 3 in the morning telling stupid jokes. And then when all had died down I told them to get the F out. But not before my dumbass had the cute one suck my toes and gave him my phone number. (I’ve come a long way people). So dude would call me CONSTANTLY talkin about "I think I'm falling in love with you.” When he cried on the phone one day I changed my number and that was the end of that situation. Until homegirl found me on myspace. Next thing you know I got a friend request from the cry baby talking about "just cause you got problems with her don't change what we have" WTF? Delete account. Mi vida loca

No, I can't, nope, sorry, not gonna be able to do it

Ok so I read Cherish's post and it made me remember THE situation that turned me into the Boss Bitch that I am today. This is the situation that allowed me to start saying Nope, No, Sorry I can't help you out...

So when I got my first real job I wanted out of my parents house right away. Shoooot I was making $25K... I thought I was BIG TIME. So I got myself an apartment in the gulliest gutter of Newark. So I stayed like 3 years there. It was good to me. So one night I cam home and thee were police cars all outside and people packed in the lobby. I thought nothing of it. So I go up to my apartment. Since I lived alone I never shut doors. Like the kitchen door bedroom door... So I walk in and all the doors are shut. My cat walks up to me I say "Hey baby!" then go in my room. I'm going through my bags and I hear a man say my name. Why are 2 MuthaFers sitting on my couch? Now I will finish that story another day.

So with that I decided to move.

I ended up buying a condo. Well about a month before I was supposed to move I come home and find a note on my door from the chick who lived down the hall. Now I'd never talked to this chick a day in my life. The note just said "I need to talk to you..." Then she comes a knockin... She's been evicted. Could she keep a bookcase in my apartment. I say yes... Home girl props open my door and proceeds to move HER WHOLE ENTIRE APARTMENT into mine. Complete bedroom, living room, kitchen, bathroom, Everything she owned. My apartment was full. There was only a small path to the fridge and to my bedroom left. And her stuff smelled like bacon and mothballs. I told chick I was moving and she couldn't leave all this stuff. i was about to move. She said she'd be back in 2 days to get it. Well a month and a couple of PTO days later stuff was still there. She'd say she was coming. I'd take off of work and chick wouldn't show. I ended up having to stay an extra month. Then when she finally did show up she told me she needed me to rent her a u-haul. Now she ahd gone too far... She left me with a number to reach her and said she'd be back. She never came. I called the number... it was disconnected.

I threw her shit out.

Everything. Except her sofa and love seat it was hot. I gave it to my man. she showed up the day I was moving the last of my stuff out cussin and crying and threatening me and shit... I just kept on. I told her. You took advantage of me and I had to do what I had to do.

Fast forward 6 years later... One day I get all these messages from my friends to call them right away. I mean friends who live across the country. Hmmm that was strange. I'm terrible at returning messages and all so I go about my day. Log onto myspace... Well homegirl found me on myspace and sent all types of crazy threatening messages to me. AND she sent messages to my friends that I stole her stuff and they don't really know me and that I'm HIV positive... Most of my friends remembered the incident and cftu. the others were just confused and were like "whatever..." I got a new myspace page and that was that. But the funny thing is that I had a picture of my son sitting on the couch!

MyGolden Rule

I have a strict rule. Friends and Man don't mix. Now we can all hang out. Friends can come over but I will never leave my friends alone with my man. I'm not gonna say I'll be right back I gotta run to the store. I'll say put your shoes on we gotta run to the store. I'm never going to call my man from my friends cell phone. Cause there will be no calling the number back to see who it was calling. If my friend is drunk and asked to stay the night, I will give them a plastic back and a ride home. I just don't do it. Not that I don't trust them. But I don't want to put either of them in a funny situation. Well I broke the rule yesterday. Mind you I never tell say the rule out loud b/c then I might offend someone and it's not worth it. And even though I know neither of them will hit on the other I still feel funny about breaking the rule. My best-friend lost her money on her way to work and had no way to get home and works far from home. So my husband works a few blocks from her and I told her to meet him at his job and he'd give her a ride home. I called him and he said fine and she got her ride home. I know my rule works b/c she was like "What the hell am I gonna talk to him about in the car. I've never been with him alone." And I gave her a list of topics she could talk to him about. And what's funny is she stuck to the list b/c of course each one mentioned what the convo was. My heart knows it was the right thing to do. It would have been messed up to leave my best friend stranded knowing that I could easily have gotten her a ride. But I feel like a sucka for breaking one of my golden rules. He told her that anytime she needed a ride she could just come to his job and he's take her home. Sigh........

The Honeymooners

So far the honeymoon period is LOVELY. I hope we can keep this up for a long time. I know it seems a bit unrealistic but I figure if you keep your mind focused on this unbelievable happiness and stay committed to continuing the "Honey", "Baby", "Sweetheart"s and the kisses and all that other good stuff you can be one of those couples celebrating their 60th anniversary. We love saying wife and husband and married. We hold hands (which he would NEVER do before). I even hold the attitude back for the little things. Where I would have continually sucked my teeth and rolled my eyes before I let it go. I don't want anything to ruin the high we are on right now. I know I probably sound foolish to those married for a while but hey why not bask in the idiocy of being newlywed while you can right?

But I swear it's like he's opened up so much. For the past 7 days I've been with a man I barely know. He's romantic and extremely affectionate and playful... It is very strange but I'm not complaining. He claims this was always him and it was me who was so negative but everyone has noticed the change in him and commented on it so I know it's not me. But I simply said back "Maybe you're right" What's the point in arguing over something positive right?

That'll be one token please....

Ok so here is something that bothers me. My whole career in Commercial Real Estate (about 8yrs) I am ALWAYS the only Black person working for my companies. One company I wasn't the only Black person but all the others worked in customer service. I was one of 2 who weren't. The other guy was a very flamboyant gay man who moonlighted as a Diana Ross impersonator. But I am always the only Black person. My office now is comprised of 2 companies owned by the same person. My company occupies the left half another company is on the right. They have a brother over there, but he won't even give the customary head nod. He walks by me like "I can't look her in the eye or else they might think we're in cahoots."

I would really love to have some co-workers who look like me. There is this really old dude who lives on the same floor as me and he always asks me about where I work. One day he says "Are there a lot of OUR KIND there?" I said no. He said all fast and adamant "GOOD. Cause that just brings trouble. White people get the job done right. I never messed with none of them niggas when I was a janitor at the community college." He is straight up Mr. Ruckus. PRAISE WHITE JESUS!

And I've had a very irish sounding name. So I constantly get the… Good Ol’ Irish girl, What a surprise to meet you comments. Sometimes I get the "Well how'd you get such an irish name?" and depending on my mood that day I will sometimes look them straight in the face and say “At some point someone of Irish descent bought and sold my ancestors and attached their irish surnames to us.” That usually brings silence and or a change in subject.

Do you ever feel like a token or like my Mr. Ruckus?

I's married now!

I really couldn't ask for more... The wedding was beautiful and small and relaxed. Just how we wanted. Our friends threw a surprise backyard reception. I had so much fun.

His friend Oolie is a true angel. She put everything together and it was exactly what I had wanted!

He was and is the sweetest thing. He is sooooo mushy. It is so sweet.

The day was a little hectic. I spent 2 hrs in the barbershop to get Jr's hair cut (which was a certain groom's responsibility.) So because of that I didn’t get to have my mani and pedi. Thank God the dress was so long.

We got to the church on time and I did a little prep work in the ladies room. My friends and I sang "She's your Queen to Be" in the bathroom (a little loud because I heard laughter outside of the door) Everyone said most brides are bitchy but I was the silliest they've ever seen. Then as I touched up the baby hair with "Lets Jam" hair pomade the girls serenaded me with "JAM... OH JAM" (everything’s not for everybody google the group Guy if you need to)

I walked down the isle to my friend singing. The groom started to cry and turned his head. The ceremony was beautiful. The word SUBMIT appeared numerously throughout. But it's all good.

After the ceremony we went to his (our) friend Oolie's house b/c she wasn't able to make it and......... SURPRISE! She had thrown us a surprise reception. Complete with wedding cake (cupcake tier) and all. It was fabulous!

What other choice do you have... Really...

2 More days of being single... I'm excited and surprised to find out Mister is excited too! He rushes me off the phone last night to say "OMG! We are getting married" with a huge grin. I was like "Yeah... who would have known. I didn't even plan on staying with you this long cause i didn't think you were the marrying type." He agreed and said his friends can't believe it. But I can look at his stats

Mister
42yo
4 kids
4 different women (including me)
Mad child support
Constant bad times
Terrible gig

Me
30yo
1 child (with him)
Great job and moving up
Positive attitude

If you were him... what would be the point of putting yourself back on the market. You are a terrible liability and have nothing to offer someone new. Unless homegirl was…
- 42
- with 5 kids
- from 5 different men
- and getting no child support
- and couldn't find a job
- and never had a good day in her life

Then you'd look like Prince Charming

Why not marry me? I already love you and care about your situation. I can’t do anything to change that at this point...

The eyes are the window...

There are certain health issues that you don't really think about until something goes wrong and then when something goes wrong it is impossible for it to be a little something. Like your eyes. You don't think about eye HEALTH so much. You get your yearly exam so you can renew your contact prescription, or you want to change your look and go for new glasses. But when it is an actually health issue with your eyes it sucks!

My contacts created a scratch on my eye and OMG! Agony. It hurt to open my eye. It hurt to keep it closed. It burned and it stung and it ached. And it was BLOODSHOT. Like look me in my right eye... normal upstanding citizen. Look me in my left eye... straight up crackhead.

And this all started with vanity. I knew the trial pair the Dr gave me was not working out. But... I had bought these aviator shades and people were sweating me left and right... All my friends... Any where I went girls commenting on how hot they were. Driving down the street dudes beeping at me on every block. I HAD to have my shades on. Knowing that these contacts were not the right fit I was gonna wear them until I "had a chance to go back to the eye doctor."

Well... eventually I had no choice. I couldn't wait one more second. One of my tenants is an eye doctor. I ran in that office all frantic like "You gotta help me..." (LOL. I wonder how many times a week they hear that.) The lenses weren't not supplying my eyes with enough oxygen. Cells clustered under the surface = bump = scratch = me with the burning red eye = my nerdy glasses... no hotness no beeps... just my red eye and nerd glasses..

When will I ever learn?

I don't know how many times stories like this have to be told before people learn. In this instance people would mean me.

So Saturday night I go out with the girls to City Island for some seafood. On the ride back we start reminiscing about high school. We start talking about how much we used to drink and get totally fucked up. About how much we used to smoke and get totally fucked up. Most of the stories surrounded me because I was the one that had to be babysat once the alcohol showed up. So we also talked about who we didn't want to mess with b/c they weren’t clipped you know where... We talked about who did what to who on the kitchen counter when the parents drove up... We talked about it all. Oh and we talked and we laughed! It was an all around good ol time.

Monday morning. Boss comes in. Walks by and says

Boss - "Did you need me this weekend?"

Me - "No"

Boss- "You called me Saturday night around 11:00. I listened for a while but then thought it was a conversation I shouldn't be hearing and hung up"

Me (totally embarrassed) - "Uhhhhhh oops. I was out with the girls.... It was serious girl talk."

Boss- "Yeah I know. I told you I listened for a little while but it was something I knew I shouldn't hear so I hung up"

OMG! Mortified. Lock the keys on your blackberry before tossing it in your purse all willy nilly.

But then the same afternoon he did it while talking about his brother and one of the vendors called him and totally started talking about the whole convo he'd heard. That’s what he gets for listening to my naughty business huh?